So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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