We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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