check it out our google latitudes are spooning
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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