I seem to have left my pride at pride
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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