They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
