big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I need to calm my uterus...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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