i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
