its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
