woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
