She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
