Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
