I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
