I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
