The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
