I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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