Do you still have your period?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
