I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
