she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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