did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's the barista slut.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm always down for nudity.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
