Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
