I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
do herpes really smell.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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