i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just invented taco cereal.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
