I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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