carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
