Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
