she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
