He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize