he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
