You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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