Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
