i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
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