I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
