"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
