6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
