YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
