the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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