bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
