My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
