people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
