Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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