SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
