i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize