I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
