dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
