Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
