No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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