I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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