if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
