All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
