My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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