we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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