we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
