i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just forgot I was standing up.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
