i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
