He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
