i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize