She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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