He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize