The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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